Borat Sagdiyev takes America

4 Nov

[This post originally appeared in Dullicious, where I blogged as Barbie-dull for several years.]

The Metro newspaper of yesterday had an hilarious bit about “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan”, which made me laugh out loud in the train. Musings of Borat on the country he got to know:

On the fast food nation

I would like say that I like US and A very much, enjoy your peoples, and enjoy your delicious foods. First I here, I go to a restaurant named McDonald’s which is so fancy-pants, it actually have separate room for making toilet in. There I eat 17 hamburgers and 600 packets of red soup called ketchups. These did not agree so much with my stomach, and the next day my anus was hung loose like the mouth of a tired dog.

On W

Kazakhstan very much admires your mighty warlord, George Walter Bush. He is a very wise man, and a very strong man, but perhaps not as strong as his father, Barbara. There are small differences between our system of politic. In Kazakh elections, for example, the winner is not the man with the most votes, but the candidate who can carry a woman against her will for the furthest distance. Our present leader can manage 4.3 miles. How long can Premier Bush?

On women’s rights

There is no womens in Kazakh film industry. We say, ‘To give a woman a camera is like to give a monkey a gun.’ We have stopped doing that ever since the 2003 Almati Zoo massacre.

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